Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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