We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
