I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
