I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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