I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
