do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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