I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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