me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
