We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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