Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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