my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It's blow job season.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
