i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
