We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Just puked most of my soul out..
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