I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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