i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize