One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
