We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
We got so high we made milksteak
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
