I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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