what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
