Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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