@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
