At least make sure they are 18
Why
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
