There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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