dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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