I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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