i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
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