What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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