did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
This is my gift to your gina
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
