feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
she looked like the before picture.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Randomize
