we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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