you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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