he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
