brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
