Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
should my penis look like a turkey
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
