C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
