Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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