i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
