I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
