i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
