Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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