She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
