I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Dignity is for republicans.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
