You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
