i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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