I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
