My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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