The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
