I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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