Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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