p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
