I just saw a hot homeless man
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
