You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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