I want to make a zoo with you.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize