I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
