i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
