I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Sext me about skeletons
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
