Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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