Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
